This is a guest post from Richard Dane Scott. Richard wrote a piece for the AFF blog AFF IS MY BFF. It’s hilarious. Read it. [If it is not hilarious to you, you have not been doing this long enough.]

I immediately emailed Richard and said —

That’s one of the funniest and most important things I’ve seen, “THAT GUY” seriously needs to know he is “THAT” guy, will you write a guest post for AFW? And Richard did. Because Richard is just that cool —


~ by Richard Dane Scott

1:  You think you’ve written the greatest screenplay ever on you FIRST and ONLY try.

2:  You pitch to anyone who will listen (or can’t escape) even if it’s standing at the glistening rock laden urinal of the Driskill.

3:  You raise your hand at every panel to pitch your project by masking it with an undecipherable question.

4:  You integrate your own soundtrack into your screenplay, including that one song that must be the ONLY song in that karaoke scene you wrote.

5:  You give your casting choices in the screenplay. And Anne Hathaway is one of them.

6:  You italicize all your narratives. [And don’t know what “narrative” means.]

7:  Your script contains one conversation that lasts over three pages with NO narratives in between. [And you still don’t know what “narrative” means.]

8:  All your main characters’ names start with the same letter. Probably “M.”

9:  You query prodcos and actor’s agents through a Google search of email addresses, not even considering trying to get representation FIRST.

10:  You have paid multiple times for script coverage on ONE screenplay, but haven’t done ONE rewrite.

11:  Your screenplay is full of camera directions because you secretly hope the prodco will ask you to direct.

12:  Your first act ends on page 47, but that’s okay, the script is 187 pages long.

13:  The only people you’ve shown your script to are your parents and significant other — and they are not Coppolas.

14:  You have NEVER read another screenplay.

15:  When you attend a panel, you are so busy planning a podium stampede to pitch your script post panel, you don’t hear the actual panel taking place.

Any of that look familiar?  Surprise! You are THAT guy.

Richard Dane Scott is a writer and producer. At the time of this posting, Richard’s scripts The Undercard and Soul Girl were in development. Since this posting, Richard’s feature My Dog The Champion starring Lance Henriksen has been produced and released. Go see it, yay!